[Inspiration | Musing] This Very Saturday My Heart Flutters Because Of You

Press that PLAY button, before you read on.

This Saturday, my heart took a detour, she says she is aching, aching with a sense of nostalgic black, that secluded blue, yearning to go back in time, to that very moment when our eyes met, that moment when I was about to leave school, taking my bicycle along with me, you handed me a small little package, at that very long back lane, piled with bicycles lined up uniformly. "For your birthday". I stopped, momentarily, gazing at that little package in my hand, not knowing what to feel, when I looked up, you had walked off, disappearing from my sight, just like that, without another word. My heart pounded, horribly... terribly, simply because I wanted so much to say... "thank you... I like you too" but those words choked in me, that very afternoon. Young love, that was. You were my first love, one that makes me feel crazy, just by sitting next to you, one that ride with me on my way cycling home, you on your bike, myself on my silly little bicycle, side by side.

My young love left without a trace, without hearing those precious three words that one would come to expect from her first love. We remained friends, the best of friends, for many years on.

Could you love more than one person in your lifetime? Perhaps

The heart says she wants love no more, for it will end in vain, without no good reasons, until you came into my university life. Yes, you. That charming looking one who is smart, over confident, yet gave me a little pad and rubbed my head in hope to comfort me when I was sobbing, crying while telling you I had a horrid bad dream of seeing my own sister dying, in front of my eyes. "Silly, it is just a dream". My heart surrendered to the sound of those words, ringing in my head, that very day. Our love was fast, it was hurried, but that was perhaps my real first love then, for we did all the silly crazy things that a couple would do.

Looking out at the field, under a tree, your sudden words broke the peaceful silence of that one fine afternoon. "I wish I could kiss you now." Those were the exact words. I quickly buried my gaze, looking down, could barely breathe, did not answer, afraid to look up to meet your eyes. I had my very first kiss, with you, that same evening, by the beach, outside of campus, but never to realize that it was the beginning of a beautiful tragic ending to the love story that we were writing.

You ended our love, not long after, with no clear reasons for me to grasp, or even comprehend. My heart was broken, utterly crushed. That was love, to me - ever so eloquently beautiful, but never quite real enough for me to hold onto and depend on.

Does your heart flutter, ever so slightly? Now and then? After all these years? Thinking of that special someone who was trapped in your past? Never quite make it to your present, in person? Thanks for being a part of my past, for the present appears more gorgeous just by thinking of you, once in a while.

Perhaps that walk in the rain alone at night, perhaps taking that coffee in the morning in bed, reading your favourite magazine, perhaps the time you spend with your girlfriends, out and about, perhaps during those quiet moments in life, while taking in a deep breath, your heart flutters, ever so gently, just because of those special little moments in life, that you have experienced, which make you feel alive, that make you realize, life is just a beautiful journey after all.

We are hopelessly in love now, in love with this little romantic and sweet song called Fluttering Heart. We hope you have that special someone in your life, be it past, present or in the future.

All visuals via LUMI pinterest here.

With love, 

Jeann